Different Growth Paths at the Same School
Hi, I’m Saori. My eldest daughter Hikari (born 2018) and eldest son Zen (born 2020) attend the same international school in Penang. Despite being just 1 year and 3 months apart, their adaptation to school life has been remarkably different.
Today, I want to share our experience of how siblings can be so different. I hope this helps those considering an education move to Malaysia.
Hikari’s Smooth Adaptation
Hikari started international school at age 5, which would be her final year of kindergarten in Japan. She settled in surprisingly quickly.
She was nervous the first week, but by week two, she was happily reporting, “Mommy, I made a new friend today!” Her teacher even praised her, saying, “Hikari is the class mood maker.”
Linguistically, she began understanding everyday English within the first three months. After six months, she was mixing English and Japanese at home. Now, she speaks with a pronunciation indistinguishable from local children.
I believe this smoothness comes down to age and personality. At 5, children are still before the critical period for language acquisition, making them highly adaptable to new environments.
Zen’s Struggles and Unique Growth Curve
Zen, on the other hand, started at age 4. Same school, same curriculum, but a completely different start.
For the first month, he cried every morning, “I don’t want to go to school.” He refused to enter the classroom and looked anxious even when I stayed with him. His teacher regularly reported, “He still can’t participate in group activities.”
The bathroom was a particular challenge. Unlike Japanese kindergartens, international schools expect children to go independently. Unable to communicate, he would hold it in. It took three weeks before he could finally say “toilet.”
But then, one day, everything changed. About two months in, Zen suddenly started speaking in English: “Today, I played with Alex!” From there, he progressed rapidly.
He’s not as fluent as Hikari yet, but he happily plays with classmates. However, he hasn’t reached the level of “thinking and speaking in English” like Hikari has.
The Age Gap in Language Acquisition
According to education experts, there’s a “critical period” for language acquisition. Exposure to a second language before age 6 makes it easier to reach native-level proficiency.
Hikari started at 5, fully leveraging this critical period. Zen started at 4. While age seems advantageous, he was actually exposed to English while his Japanese was still developing.
This difference persists even after a year. Hikari reads and thinks in English. Zen first thinks in Japanese, then translates to English. His comprehension is high, but there’s a time lag in output.
However, I see this not as a “delay” but a “difference in process.” Zen is definitely growing.
Seeing Individual Adaptation Differences Through Siblings
Even growing up in the same family and attending the same school, adaptation styles can be completely different. What I’ve learned is the importance of respecting each child’s pace.
Some children, like Hikari, adapt smoothly. Others, like Zen, take more time. Both are perfectly fine.
For those considering an education move, I urge you: don’t compare siblings. Just because the older one succeeds doesn’t mean the younger one will. Conversely, if the younger one struggles, it’s not a “failure.”
By the way, our youngest daughter Yukari is just 1.5 years old. When she starts international school, she might show us yet another adaptation style. I’m already looking forward to it.
In Closing
The cost of an education move is not cheap. With an exchange rate of 1 MYR = 40.11 JPY (as of May 26, 2026), annual tuition is about 2-3 million JPY per child (approximately $13,000-$20,000 USD). For two siblings, that’s 4-6 million JPY ($26,000-$40,000 USD).
Still, I feel this investment is worthwhile because I get to see each child grow at their own pace. Witnessing the differences between Hikari and Zen has taught me there’s no “right answer” in education.
Your children, too, have amazing adaptability. Trust them, be patient, and watch them blossom.
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