The Day I Secured “Extra Lessons” from the School
International schools in Malaysia are flexible. However, the extent of that flexibility depends greatly on your “negotiation skills.” Recently, I had a parent-teacher meeting for my eldest daughter, Hikari. We discovered she was falling slightly behind in a specific math unit. In a Japanese school, she might have been given supplementary worksheets. Here, if the parent doesn’t take action, nothing starts.
“Could we arrange a short session after school to strengthen this area?” I proposed directly to the teacher. Of course, I also confirmed the additional cost. The teacher seemed a bit surprised but agreed, saying, “If the parent is that dedicated.” As a result, we secured 30 minutes of individual support once a week. This small success made me reflect on the role of parents in education migration.
Education Migration is a Series of “Negotiations”
Many people think of education migration as “buying an environment for your child.” It’s true that paying tuition secures a seat. However, the best educational environment isn’t something you can buy with money alone. Life on the ground is built on countless “negotiations,” big and small. Rent negotiations with the landlord. Negotiations over quality and price with repair contractors. And negotiations with the school to create the optimal learning environment for your child.
Business owners will understand this well. Negotiation skills in business are an asset. They are skills that translate directly to life overseas. In fact, their importance increases due to language and cultural barriers. Through my experience establishing a Malaysian corporation and business dealings, I realized that business negotiations and life negotiations fundamentally require the same skill set.
What I Learned from “Repair Negotiations” with a Landlord
In our first house in Penang, the air conditioner started leaking. I contacted the landlord, who replied, “I’ll call a contractor.” But days passed with no follow-up. I was worried about mold. I contacted the landlord again and made a concrete proposal.
“It’s unclear when the contractor can come. If it’s acceptable to you, could I get quotes from three contractors I trust? You can choose from them, and we can deduct the repair cost from the rent.” The landlord accepted this proposal. As a result, the repair was completed quickly, and I also built a trusting relationship with the landlord. The first step in negotiation is not waiting passively but presenting a solution.
The Three Layers of School Negotiations
Engaging with a school primarily involves three layers. First, daily interactions at the “homeroom teacher level”—like the supplementary lessons mentioned earlier. Next, negotiations with the “Admissions Office”—regarding enrollment timing, documents, and sometimes tuition payment plans. Finally, negotiations with “Management”—larger discussions concerning the overall curriculum or school policies.
At the international school my son Zen attends, I felt the extracurricular options were limited. Specifically, there was no science club, which he was interested in. I first consulted his homeroom teacher, then raised the topic at a PTA meeting, suggesting, “Other parents might feel the same way.” Several parents agreed, leading to a process of submitting a request to the school. Currently, the introduction of new extracurricular activities is under consideration.
The key is not to appeal directly to the upper management immediately. Follow the steps, gather supporters, and present it as a concrete need. This is exactly the same process as proposing something new in business.
“No” is the Beginning of a Negotiation
In Malaysia, you often hear “No” initially. “That’s not possible.” “There’s no precedent.” You must not back down here. Often, this means “It can’t be done as is.” So, what would make it possible? You need to propose changing the conditions.
When I tried to schedule my younger daughter Yukari’s vaccination at our regular clinic, I was told my preferred date and time were “fully booked.” I responded like this: “If there’s a cancellation, could you contact me as a priority? Also, are there times in the afternoon that tend to have more availability than the morning?” The nurse then checked the system and found an opening on a different weekday afternoon. The key to turning a “No” into a “Yes” lies in asking questions that seek alternatives.
Daily Training to Cultivate Negotiation Skills
No special training is needed. Daily life itself is the training ground. When buying vegetables at the market, try haggling. “Can you give me a discount since I’m buying a lot?” At a restaurant, ask to customize a dish. Propose small improvements to your landlord or management association.
It might take courage at first. But this is also for your children. Seeing a parent negotiate and shape the environment is a living lesson for them. Hikari and Zen often watch me interact with service providers in English. The other day, Zen said, “Mom, that’s amazing. That big man seemed angry at first, but he was smiling at the end.” Children intuitively understand that negotiation is not confrontation but a process of reaching an agreement.
Negotiation Tools That Transcend the Language Barrier
It’s okay if you’re not confident in English. What’s important in negotiation is not perfect English but “clear intent” and “preparation.” Before an important discussion, prepare the following:
1. Write down your request in one sentence.
2. List 2-3 reasons for it.
3. Prepare one benefit from the other party’s perspective.
4. Think of one compromise.
Simply writing this down and bringing it with you makes negotiation much easier. The other party will also understand your seriousness. I used this method even during complex legal negotiations when establishing the Malaysian corporation. Language is just one tool. The core lies in logic and preparation.
“Parental Negotiation Skills” That Increase the ROI of Education Migration
Education migration requires a significant investment. Not just tuition. You’re investing living expenses, housing costs, and, most importantly, the precious resource of family time. I believe one factor that maximizes the return on investment (ROI) is parental negotiation skills.
Even attending the same school and living in a similar house, the quality of the environment you obtain differs based on “negotiation.” Learning support for your child. A safer living environment. Cost-effective services. All of these can be obtained through proactive negotiation.
Based on the latest exchange rate (as of March 16, 2026), 1 Malaysian Ringgit is 40.49 JPY. Let’s consider the impact of negotiation skills on costs using this rate. For example, if you can negotiate to save 500 Ringgit per month on rent, that’s an annual saving of about 240,000 JPY. This is money that can be redirected to your child’s extracurricular activities or family trips.
Negotiation Skills Are Also Needed for an Exit Strategy
The “exit perspective” mentioned in our editorial policy also cannot be envisioned without negotiation skills. If, by any chance, the school isn’t a good fit or housing issues arise, how do you arrange the terms and move to the next step with minimal damage? This is also a proper negotiation.
I know a family who changed their child’s school mid-way. At that time, they negotiated with the current school for a refund of the remaining tuition. Of course, a full refund was difficult, but even a partial refund could fund the next school. They prepared a medical opinion stating “the child is having significant difficulty adapting” and discussed it carefully with the school. As a result, they succeeded in getting a partial refund and transferred smoothly.
Education migration is often thought of as something you “give” to your child. But in reality, it’s something the family “creates” together. At the heart of that creative process are parental negotiation skills. The skills honed in business are one of the most reliable assets you can leverage in raising children abroad. I am convinced that life in Malaysia is the perfect opportunity to polish that asset and invest it directly in your children’s future.
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